Privilege

I wish you had been harder on us
That you had expected as much from us as you did
From others

I don't know how
There had been so much blood
Most of it was not ours

I wish you had been as hard on us
As you were on your people
Asking them to forgive

I wish you had asked us more
That we
We had done more

That we had shown we were worthy of being forgiven
That is was not so easy for us now
To say thank you
To call you Tata

To say thank you for allowing us to keep our privilege

continental drift

You are moving away from me

Millimeter by millimetre

Breath by breathe

We started with your breath on my cheek

Your ancestors speaking stories

Of soil

Of home

      where we could go

Your breath became so

Hot it

Burned

Me

 Disgusted me with its history smell

Until my nose became accustomed

Entwined

Then your breath was

On my lips

It was your body that spoke to me

Of urgency

Of penetration

Scars, birth and

Somehow (because you are this way)

Stars

Your breath was on my neck

As we looked out together

Behind infront behind

Your breath on my hands as

We scrabbled to pull each other up

Off the ledge

(invisible ledges the other cannot see

So tangled by fear of loss)

Now we are sitting across from each other

In front of this chasm

I can no longer feel your breath

I have no power over this continental drift

Trusting the sky

I am practicing my run ups 

These chasms are too wide to step 

But I must get across 

I must 

The sun is calling me

And the corals,

The fishes in the 

Eventual sea 

So I am practicing my run ups

How wide I can stretch, 

How high 

One day 

(soon) 

I will close my eyes and jump 

And fly 

(trusting that the sky sees me

Safe

Across 

Knowing my movements, my hesitations 

In that moment where I may freeze 

And fall)