My graves

Visible and invisible graves
That we fall into without hearing
That we build homes in without tasting
That we walk over without shivering

Histories holed up in our heels
Under each step like slipping stones

Give me your hands, love
Hold my graves with me

Let’s pack our graves up
Into each other like
Babushka dolls

Close. Tight
An intimacy that pierces
An intimacy that is perfect in death

Language of sleep

Ghosts speak
In snakes
That swallow, that spit
That do not know the language of sleep
That do not know the language of sleep
That do not sleep

Heart-Doors

The way hearts
Fly open
Like cupboard doors
In a kitchen:

Here- drink, eat
Share
Break

Cook, weave, smell
Spell, magic, mix,
Make, sew, fix

Hold

Hold fix hold
Fix, cook, bake
Mix eat share

Hold, share, hold
Fix, share, warm,

Hold. Hold. Hold.

Come Gently

One day these wings will rain, will walk
Will not need to fly, to soar: will walk

Rain makes poems in insects: locust ladybugs bees
Rain swallows wings, they fall from the sky tumble spill walk.

Labyrinth-speak: hear hold enfold
Dreams held in lips we will, to fulfil, walk.

“Come gently,” he whispered, “carve me safe into stone”
“Reach me” he breathed, “Gently come to the hill, walk!”

I survived you: a wonder surviving the winter
Even after you I can still walk.

Against Hope

Us. Here
High. 12th floor up
Into the cold

Dressed warm
Heads full, scared, hoping
Mountain on wall
Hope cascades over it
Runs
runs
runs out
runs away

We are not allowed to hope here
Us. Warm.
High
Wet only by delicate accident

Our hope for better worlds
For less guilt for ourselves
no.

We must live with our guilt
Like worms

we are not allowed to have hope
also
with everything else

hope is there for a sun
for a sunset
for a ray
that illuminates where Black is a queer death

we are not allowed hope
up here
on the 12th floor.

Fire on the Plane

Our plane caught fire.

Our emergency
landing in Halifax
my first time in
Canada. I am groggy
With shock and sleeping pills

In this state
I can first begin
To realise
I have lost you

In this state
I can first begin
To realise
I have saved my life

We cry. I expect tears
Of fear
Of tiredness
Of frustration at the
Country we are unexpectedly in

My tears are tears of joy
Of relief
My tears put out
the fire on the plane.

Raffi's Wings

You have wings to take you soaring
You have had wings all your life
Everyone saw them on you
They shone in your smile
In your laugh
A bright, vibrant

Those wings have been waiting for you
To take you softly
Gently
To your home

None of us, not even your wings,
Expected you to travel so soon
They tripped over themselves
Brushed our faces

As they came to sweep you up
You are safe in them
As we sit here in the rain
Silently listening for your wingbeats
You are held, peaceful, safe

Love ties you
So close

You will send wings to your daughter
Your husband
So they can hold your travel a little more lightly
So they can hold each other
So your wings can be wind instruments
In their grief

The wings you send them reminding them gently
That you are safe
You are held
You are precious, beautiful, loved
Your wings will be around them always
That when it is time you will meet them to
Help them travel safely,
Your wings grow from heaven to earth
To hold us gently
To let you sing softly, as you are loved, celebrated

As our hearts grieve knowing you are held
In God’s wings
Nestled in those spaces
Where we are never alone
Where we are never apart.