Yellow brick road

I must mourn you
As if you were dead
You are never coming back.

I sift through the remnants of you
In my spring clean
My heart trying to hold you still

With you I was sliced open,
As bloody and delicious as
a December watermelon
You spitting out my pips

With you I was as in love as a
13 year old with a boy band
As an 85 year old at her partners
Funeral

I worked harder with you than
I thought possible
To the horizon and over it
Into the dark

I felt safe with you in warm moments
Of half sleep

I felt brave with you often
Until my knees gave way

I was awed by you
Floored
Amazed by your dimensions

I was terrified by you
Feared for my life,
My sanity and
My future

I was so hopeful in you
For our future
The future worlds you hold

I was enraged by you
Tears hot down my face
I wished I could make them weapons
Find some way to escape you

We found each other in gentle moments occasionally,
Secretly

I was broadened
Stretched by you
Through you
To trying to survive you

We will not walk together again
I turn to see you
yellow brick road burning in my heart

I put all the love and rage
Hope and desperation
In a letter on our last brick
I turn to face the sun