I wish you dancing

I didn’t know you
I know only your ghost
Traces of you
Snail trails of words

Of marks on my lovers body
In his car
His phone
His email


I felt your fight
Your life, your grief
Pulsing through him

I fell in love with you a little
Your pulse through his fingers

My love for my lover bittered
Through you
You, lemon in milky tea, turned
Us sour

We have never recovered.

I have never forgotten you.

I touch you sometimes in digital space.
My fingers tracing your face.

He left you for me
After he left me for you
After he told each of us about
Marriage
About dlozi and home.

Now you are dead
I hope this was your choice
I hope you took a breath and flew gently, away
From this world of fight
World that you didn’t have the right dimensions for
Too wide, too deep for such small ribs

I hope the choice was yours and
Not the man you had run to
In your pain
The man whose violence played your pain
Out
On your body

Now you are dead
Sky-bound only

I send you sky-fish for travel companions
And I wish you dancing
Happy, wild, hard
I wish you dancing.